Grief is often understood as an emotional response to loss, but the process can also have significant effects on the brain and on how we think, behave, and function in our daily lives. Read this article to find out that grief is much more than a couple of days after someone’s death.
The biology of grief
Psychologist Laiane Andreoleti, who specializes in grief at INLUTO, Portugal, shares that people who are already stressed tend to have neurological dysfunctions. From this stress, grief activates the hypothalamus and significantly raises cortisol levels. This can lead to physical symptoms.
“These are forms of emotional distress, such as insomnia or a weakened immune system. We know that when a person is suffering, even their routine changes because they can no longer function as before. They find themselves deeply affected by this emotional pain,” the psychologist explains.
Alexandre Mansano, a 21-year-old journalism student in Brazil, shares his experience after losing his grandfather—whom he considered a second father—and his uncle, both within a short span of time. “I noticed changes in my body, starting with fatigue and a lack of motivation. When I thought about them, I would experience sudden bursts of anger and restlessness.”
A study published in Biological Psychiatry: Cognitive Neuroscience and Neuroimaging analyzed 25 people who had lost someone close to them within the previous 3 to 14 months. Researchers found that these individuals showed increased attention to words and stimuli related to the deceased. This effect was also linked to intrusive thoughts about the loss.
“At first, you don’t really notice it, but as the impact sinks in, things get complicated,” explains Alexandre. He was deeply affected by stress and irritability, and also exhibited antisocial behavior.
Assumptive World by Colin Murray Parkes
Parkes’s theory posits that, throughout our lives, we form an idea of how our world works. These are expectations and points of reference that are part of our daily routine; because they are so familiar, we often do not even notice their existence. Examples include: “My mother will be there when I need her” or “I will still have my job next month.”
A significant loss does not merely remove a person or a situation from our lives. It can invalidate many of our expectations about how life works. Take, for instance, a woman who has lost her husband: suddenly, she has lost the person she used to call during the day, and the family dynamic shifts. That is why Parkes calls grief a “psychosocial transition”: a significant change that requires a major revision of our internal model of the world.
Laiane states that we start to realize these people need help when suffering becomes an alert, when they are unable to return to their normal routine, even long after death.
Alexandre says his concentration was severely affected, making it difficult to focus on work demands at the time. “I would start out listening to the people around me, but soon my thoughts would drift to my grandfather. My mind was stuck in a loop of grief.”
A support network is essential for those going through grief, but such a network does not always come easily. “Some people say you should have moved on by now. That’s not something people should say, because they inhibit the grieving person from experiencing their grief.”
EDUARDA DE NADAI GENERATO
Journalist